Tiffany is a Guardian Protector, ISFJ. She is 30 and a language arts teacher at a middle school. She enjoys teaching kids skills they can use the rest of their lives, like writing letters, learning new words, and decoding instructions. She also hopes to turn her students on to the joy of reading for fun and information.

Tiffany has had several fairly long-lasting relationships. Her problem has been that in each one, her family and friends eventually start telling her that he's no good for her, that he's cheating or abusive, and so on. She feels like they are very negative and not supportive, but she has to admit that they have been right each time. Tiffany is very loyal and can always find reasons to explain situations that are favorable to her partner. It's hard for her to know when that crosses the line from being loyal to being stupid. She doesn't want to be too skeptical and judgmental, but she's also tired of being a co-dependent patsy. She wonders if there are any decent men out there who won't try to take advantage of her trusting nature.

She recently ended a fairly short relationship. She began to look more critically at what her boyfriend told her and found a number of inconsistencies. When she asked him about these inconsistencies, he had an explanation that made sense, but she still felt uneasy. A couple of her friends said they didn't trust him and gave reasons that matched her feelings. She went back to him and asked for more transparency. He refused, so she walked. Later she found out he was married. Tiffany feels good about this situation because she listened to her gut feelings and her friends while still not making accusations.

Now she is dating a man named Kai (rhymes with eye). He's smooth and sophisticated and showers her with gifts ranging from small mementos to an expensive hard-to-find addition to her collection of Abyssinian cats. In some ways, he reminds her of one of her past boyfriends, but she thinks he's the real deal. She loves his spontaneity and positive outlook on life. She's introduced him to her friends and family, and he's done the same. She's had fun listening to stories of what he was like when he was younger. He got into more wild situations! He had a period of time where he was hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing drugs, but it didn't take him too long to figure out that was a dead end. His family and friends are convinced that is long past him.

Tiffany is cautiously optimistic. His smooth manner worries her, but his willingness to show her off to his family and friends suggests that he has nothing to hide. She loves his family and feels they've welcomed her with open arms, something that hasn't happened before. Her family and friends have given an initial thumbs up.

Do you have advice for Tiffany? Do you know or are you a Guardian Protector and can you give information about how other Protectors have dealt with the dating game?