Hoa (pronounced Waw) is a 26 year old Idealist Teacher (ENFJ). Her parents emigrated from Vietnam when Hoa was 2 years old. She looks like a tiny Asian doll. She has long black hair and appears to be about 12. She has no problems getting dates. In fact, her real problem is fending men off. They seem to be fascinated by her. It's gotten really old since they have a lot of preconceived notions about her that are incorrect. They expect that she wants to be a traditional housewife and mother and will pander to their masculine ego. Men usually are unpleasantly surprised to discover that she can see right through them.

Hoa is a corporate trainer. Her company sends her to companies all over the world. Even though her company touts her as one of their absolute best trainers, the host companies are usually surprised when they meet her in person. She's learned several different techniques to establish herself and her credentials. Sometimes the executives/managers are condescending and attempt to 'dumb down' what they are saying. She will respond with smiles and few words. Then she will sum up everything they said in a professional, accurate, and crisp manner. After a few embarrassed smiles, they treat her as an equal.

Since she is tired of playing the dating game, she invented a fictitious boyfriend. That way when a man engages in unwelcome flirting or worse, she announces that she's taken. If that doesn't work, she shows a picture of a body builder man and makes vague references as to what happened to the last man who annoyed her.

Hoa would like to have a long term relationship. Her biggest impediment seems to be her own looks, so she decided to try a couple of on-line dating services. The picture she provided doesn't show her at her best and gives no idea of her true size. She's still gotten a few men with preconceived ideas about Asian women, but it has been nice to converse with men who treat her as an equal. She's been able to get to know them with minimal reference to physical looks.

She wondered what would happen once they met her in person. After corresponding with several different men who all seemed like good possibilities, she arranged to meet a couple of them. The first one was just as nervous as she was, but as soon as they started talking, their relationship was the same as it had been on-line. The second just didn't click with her. He was nice, but there were no sparks.

Do you have advice for Hoa? Do you know or are you an Idealist Teacher and can you give information about how other Teachers have dealt with the dating game?