The parent-child relationship is the one where the tensions between different personalities can be most clearly seen. When we make friends or choose a partner, we are developing a relationship between equals. The parent-child relationship is hierarchical, with much more clearly defined roles for each. You can break up with friends or lovers, but you generally can't divorce your parents or your children. Because parents and children are stuck with each other, the battles can be devastating, particularly for the children. There's an old joke which says that children and grandparents get along so well because they have a common enemy.

One thing which I believe causes a lot of problems between parents and their children is that parents feel a certain amount of ownership or responsibility for their children's actions. This can be good when a parent realizes that their behavior has contributed to their child's problems. Most of the time, though, it simply causes a humongous tug-of-war. The parent cajoles, pleads, demands, and threatens to get a child to behave the way they want them to. The child rebels, becomes passive-aggressive, or outwardly complies. If the child will not comply, the parent feels guilt, anxiety, and anger. This can lead to the classic rejection: "No child of mine would..."

Temperament theory is a huge help so that parents can understand why their children act the way they do. The child's behavior may have absolutely nothing to do with parenting, either good or bad, and may be simply a function of the way they were born. Parents who understand temperament can help their children develop the way they were meant to be. It can make parenting a much more relaxed and enjoyable affair. It can also help children understand why their parents behave the way they do and how to best communicate with their parents.

In this series of articles, we'll be looking at the different kinds of parents and exploring what makes them tick. For now, let's look at sometimes funny ways to identify the kind of parent a person is.