Care and Feeding of a Mate
Part 3: Idealist Mates
By Dr. Lovegood
Like Rationals, Idealist men are often not intimidated by a woman with a lot of masculine
characteristics. They are more likely than other men to do things around the house. They go
out of their way to serve their mate and the rest of their family. Although they appreciate
reciprocal treatment, they do not keep account of who works harder to keep the relationship
or family going. While men of other temperaments see their jobs as the men in the house in
a more traditional way, Idealist men see their responsibility as being service. If you are
fortunate enough to have an Idealist mate who does a lot for you, enjoy it. Don't try to
talk them out of it but do give them symbolic gifts such as Idealist women want.
Idealist women love to receive personalized gifts which hold great symbolism for both
parties. These items can be as small as a four leafed clover found in the yard to symbolize
a wishing of luck. The more specific the items are to the unique relationship of the couple,
the happier she will be. Idealist women love the idea that their partner was thinking about
them. Other things which heighten a sense of intimacy are sharing a laugh in public over
a private joke and communicating in a private language.
Idealists give a lot to romantic relationships but they are also high maintenance.
If you have an Idealist partner, you can expect to spend a fair amount of time talking
and even more listening. Idealists are very sensitive to what other people think,
especially their loved ones. Providing support and a belief in them is far more important
than giving them the "right" answer, which may not even be the best thing for them to do.
The one thing that can destroy a relationship with an Idealist is a values conflict.
Idealists value relationships, but they also have certain uncompromising values. If a
partner seems to be violating those values, the Idealist will stretch and stretch to
try to accommodate the partner. However, if an acceptable solution is not reached, the
Idealist will eventually snap. At this point, the relationship is usually beyond any
possible repair. Keep an open line of communication with your Idealist partner to avoid
this kind of outcome.
The thing Idealists most long for is intimacy. Couples can have intimacy in body, mind,
and soul. Idealists want all three but are most attracted by intimacy of souls. They love
to share their future plans or dreams with their partner, and they love to listen to their
partner's desires. It's usually just fine if these dreams are not at all the same as long
as they don't contradict each other in any important way. Sharing secrets about the
innermost you is a great way to encourage intimacy of all three varieties.
If you are having problems, do not keep that information from your partner. You may
think you don't want to burden them, but they will know that something is upsetting you.
Idealists feel very hurt if a loved one doesn't trust them enough to let them know what
is going on. Although Idealists can often seem very fragile and likely to break at the
slightest touch, but when true adversity hits, they generally rise to the occasion and
become a stout oak of support.
The bottom line with an Idealist is to give them emotional support. Nurture your mate
and you will probably get an intensely loyal and totally devoted partner.
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