Care and Feeding of a Mate
Part 2: Artisan Mates
By Dr. Lovegood
Artisan men generally want to see themselves as strong enough to protect their mate from
harm. This strength may be physical or cleverness, such as the ability to negotiate or pull
the right strings. Artisan women like to spice up their relationships by playing different
roles and games. They often enjoy being a sexual tease to provoke interest in their mate.
Artisans are the most likely to portray themselves as irresistible to the opposite sex.
Playing into these fantasies/realities can help you have a contented mate.
Because Artisans tend to be playful and can seem irresponsible, it is easy for the
relationship to fall into that of a parent and child. The Artisan may become a compliant
child who wishes to please or a rebellious teenager or a bit of both. Artisan
Promoters (ESTP) are the most likely to be actively mutinous while all Artisans can
become passive/aggressive. This dynamic is not good for either partner.
To build an effective adult relationship, do not lecture. The Artisan will resent
the other person. Instead, create logical consequences, calmly explain them to your mate,
and allow or carry out the consequences without comment and without being punitive. If an
Artisan husband is constantly late for dinner without calling, the wife may inform him
that dinner will always be at 6:30 unless he calls and asks for a delay. At 6:30, she
serves dinner whether or not he is there. If he isn't, he comes home to leftovers. While
this doesn't deal with the issue of keeping her informed of his plans, at least dinner
is not being constantly disrupted.
Artisans generally love surprises and change. Surprise parties, spontaneous getaways,
gifts and similar things are likely to be a big hit with an Artisan mate. Artisans often
like to redecorate simply to change the look of things. Change for the sake of change is
something to expect.
One thing that can annoy mates is the Artisan tendency towards laziness. Often, this
laziness is simply part of how they operate. They will work at high speed maximum effort
for quite a while and then do nothing for quite a while. This kind of up and down is
natural for Artisans as they work hard and play hard. Artisans have a natural ebb and
flow which is somewhat unpredictable. They can swing back and forth from being very
demanding for attention to being totally independent. Periodically, they are single
minded in following an impulse, which may include spending money, especially for female
Artisans. Recognizing these patterns can save a lot of resentment.
Sometimes they will start projects or plans only to drop them days later. Paula,
an Artisan Performer (ESFP), regularly worries about money. She has been to a class
on how to budget, so periodically she'll try to keep track of money as she was taught.
The problem is that the plan involves keeping track of every penny spent. She can never
keep it up longer than a couple of weeks because she's playing against herself. She's
now trying a budget method which involves envelopes. That way she doesn't have to keep
track of absolutely everything.
Artisans tend to be fiscally liberal. They are likely to buy things for themselves
and others without considering their financial situation. Some couples have the other
partner handling most of the money and giving the Artisan an "allowance." Others have
agreements not to spend more than "x" without checking with the other person.
The bottom line with Artisans is to let them be who they are whenever possible.
Don't try to shove them into a square box, but give them freedom. Enjoy your mate,
and they'll bring you lots of fun, excitement, and pleasure.
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