All programs and utilities are hereby guaranteed to be free from defects in workmanship and programming for a period of one (1) minute after initial release. After that, you must refer below to the fully limited lifetime warranty. This guarantee does not cover damage due to accident, misuse, abuse, negligence, or incompetence. We are not responsible for any incidental or consequential damage which might occur as a result of the explicit or implicit use of these programs, including and not to exclude the possible complete destruction of all software on said machine, including said machine itself, along with the building containing said machine, and various parts of the surrounding country side. This guarantee is valid only in the United States, except for southern California, and only between the hours of 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM whenever we feel like it. Void where prohibited.

In the event one of our utilities does not function properly due to faulty workmanship or programming logic, we will:

1. For a period of one month after initial release, we will listen to your complaints and smile politely, occasionally nodding the head as if in agreement.
2. For a period of one year after initial release, we will supply, at no charge to the user, sympathy and commiseration over any component of a program found to be inadequate.

This warranty gives you specific rights, and you may have other rights which vary from state to state. i.e. the state (of mind) you are in may affect the intensity of our sympathy.

(Just joking. Actually I take programming very seriously.)

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