The Pentium division Flaw - Chapter 9

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CHAPTER 9:    PENTIUM JOKES

Humor gives us insight into human nature. When the Pentium flaw was discovered it became a fad to peel off the "Intel Inside" sticker and place it on some other appliance or item of lesser worth. "Intel Inside" stickers have been found on 8-track tape recorders, toilets, washing machines, telephones, coffeepots, a vacuum cleaner (it sucks much more than before), and on the trash bin.

Of course there's nothing new about peeling off stickers and placing them elsewhere. One person has a refrigerator that purports to offer eight events over a three week period and Hi-Fi stereo, some clip-on sun glasses that are frost-free and 23 cubic feet, and a radio receiver that is apparently made by Cuisinart and boasts a copper bottom and a stay-cool handle.




"Intel Inside?   Don't Divide!"

"Sure it gives the wrong answer, but look how FAST it is!"

Ever wonder why the "Intel inside" emblem is in a circle that doesn't quite meet?

P - Produces
E-Erroneous
N-Numbers
T-Through
I-Incorrect
U-Understanding of
M-Mathematics

"I heard that Intel lost one of its divisions today..."

"Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well..."

"Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes"




TOP .9999999998 REASONS TO BUY A FLAWED PENTIUM MACHINE
9.9999973251 -- Your current computer is too accurate
8.9999163362--You want to get into Guinness Book of World Records as "Owner of the most expensive paperweight"
7.9999414610--Math errors add zest to life
6.9999831538--You need an alibi for the I.R.S.
5.9999835137--The "Intel Inside" logo matches your decor perfectly
4.9999999021--You no longer have to worry about the cpu overheating
3.9998245917--The pentium chip will make a lovely pendant
2.9991523619--You want to learn more about this "New Math"
1.9999103517--You got a great deal from JPL
And the #0.9999999998 reason to buy a flawed Pentium machine:
Your Doom II game doesn't seem to care




Q: What does the pentium assembler command JCA mean?
A: Jump on Correct Answer ....

Q: What is Intel's follow-on to the Pentium?
A: Repentium.

Q: What does the element Pentium decay into?
A: Jewelry with the emission of a press release.

(Yes it's true, a number of the flawed Pentium chips were converted into jewelry and keychains. But creating art and jewelry out of man made junk originally intended for some other use is nothing new.)

The #1 favorite Pentium joke seems to be:

Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A:Intel added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605

This joke actually doesn't make sense, since it's a division flaw, not an addition flaw. Still the joke was published in P.C. Magazine's March 14, 1995 issue "Abort, Retry, Fail" humor section as their favorite.




Back in the days of slide rules a person would ask an engineer what 8/2 was and the engineer would wip out his trusty slide rule, slide the hairline back and forth a little, and answer "about 3.99" Nowadays when someone asks an engineer what 8 divided by 2 is, the engineer turns to his trusty Pentium computer, enters a quick calculation, and answers "about 3.99".




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